1. Parisians are very nice, despite the larger consensus. The neighbours have weekly wine meetings on the landing of the fifth floor and I’m always invited to partake. Beats a book club.

2. French women really don’t wear much make up or dress-up, just always nail it. Any science behind it can be found in this.

(Almost) A Year in France: What I've Learned

3. Never fuck off a guardien/ne. Most larger flats in Paris have a gatekeepers, and like dragons around moats they are not to be crossed. I was chastised on two occasions: for standing in a stairwell, and using the hallway mirror. CE N’EST PAS UN SALON, FILLE.

4. It’s possible to feel French on a bike. Someone once tried to take my photo while I was in-saddle, just before I cruised into a 2 metre-wide puddle. Back to British.

(Almost) A Year in France: What I've Learned

5. Red wine is acceptable at any hour.

6. Soirées go on ’til 8am. Or 10am if you’re in Pigalle.

5. Pigalle is too cool for me.

6. The meaning of bobo.

7. To be grateful that I wake and slumber before this view. Lucky sod.

(Almost) A Year in France: What I've Learned

2015 will be the year in which I do four things:

More city breaks. About time I buy this and maximise the use of le TGV.
Learn how to open an ironing board without fear.
Get back into the Bikram studio without ever speaking of chakras.
Stop shoulding all over myself. And just DO.